I’ve dropped Man and Boy off at the airport. Hopefully they have winged their way Liverpool-side and I have two weeks of … quiet… Aaahh!
Things I can do. In no particular order.
- a naked dance. I’m not going to because no more than 10 cm squared of my flesh is exposed at any one time from now until March, but I could do, if I wanted to.
- listen to the KIIIIINGS very loud. Whoo-hoo-hoo.
- Get even more baubles out.
- Eat cake for breakfast. I could do this before, but it seems such an inappropriate lesson for a child to learn.
- Dance with the dogs. I do this anyway and Stephen laughs. A Lot.
- Watch girlie things. Glee is on download and I DO NOT CARE if you think that is funny for me to do because I’d quite like to see Dr Spencer Reid’s Mum being a PE teacher bitch.
- Work at any time of the day, not just when Boy is asleep.
- Use one plate for all meals.
- Cycle round and round in my garden. I won’t, but I could if I wanted to.
- Commandeer all the hot water bottles and duvets and sleep under ALL of them.
- Eat chocolates without having to share.
- Get anally-retentive with the housework. That’s how I roll.
- Watch Criminal Minds again, from Start to Finish. And maybe again. Yes I know who’s done it. No I don’t care. I loves me a Penelope Garcia and a Prentiss and a JJ and a Dave and a Dr Spencer Reid and a Hotch and a Derek Morgan. And then I might watch NCIS again. Just because I can.
- Watch me some French stuff without having to put the subtitles on for Steve.
- Listen to Brazilian and Cuban music without feeling Stephen’s music snobbery breathing down my neck
- Play Bing Crosby from dawn until dusk
- Break out the festive because as Steve said yesterday, he’s a man’s-man and baubles aren’t very manly. Apparently. I think a real man’s man would be comfortable with his festive side and not be such a miserable Grinch, but there you go.
- Go to bed at half past eight without anyone laughing at me. What’s that about??! It’s like a competition in this house to see who can see as much of the night as possible. Who wants to be awake at the time you feel all rubbish and tired??! I want more daylight!
- Keep a clean kitchen.
- Eat veggie food every day without anybody passing comment about lentils.
But I will miss them a little bit. I won’t miss them bickering. I won’t miss having my head pecked or being laughed at or being the butt of the joke. Give me two weeks and I might have got over my urge to make them live in the cabin at the end of the garden.
The dogs, unfortunately, already have Man and Boy sized holes in their life. Moll is unlikely to vacate Steve’s chair. Tilly spent half an hour looking for him when I drove back. I suspect long walks and a bit of girl time are needed. Besides, Moll will forget all about Steve once my dad breaks out the pork crackling for her. Poor doggies.