Come on God, do I seem bulletproof?

Just when I thought things would settle down a bit, they don’t.

Saffy had been very sick yesterday and hadn’t eaten much since Thursday. She was crying and sick last night, so we decided to take her to the vet this morning. Really didn’t think it was anything serious. Just when we were getting ready to go, she went outside. I seriously thought she was feeling a little better. She just lay in a patch of snowdrops and stopped breathing. Just like that. Poor old girl.

Part of me is devastated. She’s only been with us since just before Christmas. But she was so ill. She made valiant attempts to come on walks, played with her ball, had discovered sticks and chews. She’d learned to give a paw for a treat and she was a real old character, always in the chicken pen trying to scoff chicken food. But it was a world of pain for her – she might have been only nine, but she was so ill. She was a real valiant trooper. I can only hope she had a sweet retirement and that she didn’t suffer too much – I don’t think she did. She just got weaker and weaker. She ate treats, chased cats and chickens, ferreted about and had walks. A dog can’t ask for more. I can only hope those two months weren’t too distressing for her, being away from the people she’d known all her life. But she was loved here.

Trouble is, with Basil dying, our garden is fast becoming an animal graveyard and I just wish they weren’t so close on one another.

I also sprained my ankle yesterday. It’s the fourth time in about 10 years. Always the left. The last time I sprained it, like this time, I just went down on the floor, from pain-free walking to painful flat-on-my-face with barely a collapse in 1 second. Yesterday it was the same. I was walking alongside Steve – one minute I’m chatting shit, and the next I’m rolling around on the floor in the leaves. He had to get the van, get through the mud up the track, pick me up and take me back. I’d actually started writing this bit first, and was going to be funny, but I’m just not feeling the universal love today. Except from my family. My mum has already been on, as have Joanne and Abi. It just doesn’t get any easier.

Sometimes, a lyric just grabs you with how ‘wow’ it is:

This song does that twice for me…. “The medicated state of mind you find is overrated.” and the title of this blog. Sometimes, it feels like the universe is throwing a whole world of shit at you. You just have to remember that it’s just life.

Rest in peace, Saffy… I know you’re no longer in pain. xxxx

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