I ♥ my sister more than anything in the whole world, except for the rest of my family. I can’t say to you how I love her more than anyone else in my complicated family tree because it wouldn’t be fair, but it’s her 35th birthday today and I think I’m allowed to make her my favourite today.
Here are my 35 reasons why I love her very much
1. She always has a fridge full of toffee crisps and when she sent me an English food parcel, it had three packs of toffee crisps in it.
2. She knows about the flannel shoes and blowing bubbles through a flannel to make a bubble beard
3. She appreciates the patent leather shoe. Or at least she did when she was five.
4. She is a born nurse. She
whinges, whines, makes a big deal out of everything and slags everything off all the time is very, very good at looking after people and nothing makes her squeamish except sputum
5. She knows about weasels
6. She has the loveliest hair of anyone I know. I have calf-licks and crazy hair and thin hair, and she has beautiful, thick, luscious hair
7. She takes me to see Take That because she knows I really love them and I don’t care for your opinion of my musical tastes. In fact, she came with me to see Busted at the Smash Hits poll winners party and I’m not ashamed. Much.
8. She talked me out of wearing a pair of zip up Kylie-style trousers because she said I looked like a prostitute. She was right.
9. She always worries about her grades and she shouldn’t because she’s my sister and brains are just part of the territory.
10. She always likes my presents even if they’re hand-made and a bit crap, including my first knitted product of my adult life. Her house has got lots of my home-made stuff in and she never throws it away. Unlike my Nana who threw away a clay model I’d made of my sister’s head when I was 13. I know your secrets, Nana.
11. She makes roast potatoes, gravy and carrots and potato salad that are of the same quality as my Nana’s, and that’s a pretty high quality. I’ve never eaten better.
12. She is just good at cooking. She just is.
13. She’s good at shopping.
14. She’s good to share a room with. I can’t speak for myself, but I’ve had some crappy room-mates in my time. She’s never one of them. In fact, she’s the best.
15. She looks good even when she’s rough.
16. She has very good skin.
17. She always knows how to get me out of a ‘poor me’ one-woman pity party. Mostly this involves asking me if I’d like her to bring over the bleach for a swig.
18. She has excellent taste in boots and clothes and handbags and whilst she might have suffered from my hand-me-downs (okay, from my cousin Sarah…) I am very happy when she sends me her clothes she doesn’t wear any more.
19. She drives just like me. Combination of perfectionist and nutcase.
20. She has good make-up. Not as good as me, but…
21. She is the kind of girl who values her girlfriends. I think it’s important that girls have a lot of girlfriends. If girls don’t, they must be a right set of bitches.
22. She always gets me a take-away when I go to her house
23. I’ve just about forgiven her for colouring on my Lundy doll’s house when I was six. Bitch. Okay. I’ve not forgiven her.
24. I can go for weeks or months without talking to her and when I do talk to her it’s like that time has never been between us.
25. She understands what I mean when I remind her of the restaurant in Kos where I ate Owl and she had potatoes with cheese
26. She knows what movies I like – and we watch some that make us laugh until we cry and our sides hurt.
27. She always buys the best presents. I don’t know how. She just does.
28. She always has vimto to drink. That’s important in a sister.
29. She does the best face when she gets a present that she thinks is a bit crap. I like that she’s judgmental. I know she might do that at something I buy her, but she will always pretend that she loves it.
30. She and I shared bunk beds for a while. I always had the top bunk. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it made us closer, because from me being about 14 and her being about 10, we hated each other. Mainly because she was pretty and good and popular and I was weird and opinionated and bossy. And also because she liked shell suits and I didn’t.
31. Honestly, I’m still jealous of her a bit now. Not in a bad way though. In a way that says ‘I wish I was like that’.
32. She’s tall. See. Jealous. I wish I was like that.
33. She has very good posture. You might not think that is important in a sister, but it is. I couldn’t tolerate a sister who stooped.
34. If ever I need a hand decorating, she always helps out.
35. She never reminds me of mistakes I’ve made. I like that, especially when they involve snogging TOTALLY inappropriate people in pubs.
36. She never judges me to my face, even if I do a crap thing. If I said I was running off with my ex-dwarf, she’d let me even though she’d think I was mental and then she’d still pick up the pieces afterwards and never say she told me so.