La Historia me absolvera

I have to say I have more faith in the police following my ‘mugging’ and assault (with a deadly tie) – the culprits have been caught. Who knows what will happen to them – I hope the only thing that they realise is remorse is a terrible feeling. I don’t care how much or little punishment is needed for them to realise they too were lucky and it could have been much, much worse.

I do believe, you see, in karma. I believe that what goes around comes around. I believe that you WILL be bitten on the arse by the giant Universe. I believe that punishments come to those who need them. I believe that everything has a meaning and a significance and nothing happens from which we cannot learn. Sometimes shit happens to good people. I hate that, especially where no-one is responsible. We can die in horrific and terrible ways. My Gramps and Andy both died far, far too young and in far too much pain. I don’t believe that was karmic retribution. If they’d been bad, their suffering would have been long and intense, I know. I do believe in the butterfly effect. Maybe if I’d have said yes to a pug, I’d have kept Andy here. Maybe if my Gramps had believed less that he’d be dead by 70, he’d have gone to the hospital sooner. I believe little things can have big consequences. I can’t, however, justify my Aunt Chris’s chronic arthritis, or Liam’s fever or my Auntie Lynne’s aneurysm, or my own suffering at the hands of others. I don’t know why these things happen to good people. I feel like the boy in ‘Night of the Scorpion’… like I can’t justify the suffering of a good person just because of my beliefs in karma.

But, at times like this, I like to think the Universe has a hand in helping consequences along. If we sow goodness, we reap goodness. However, no matter how carefully you plough the field and sow your seeds, sometimes weeds get in there. It’s just how it is. You could be as good as you know how to be, and yet the wind will sometimes blow a huge big pile of dandelion seeds your way. My advice? Be good, but prepare for the weeds that blow over from other people’s untended lots. Those weeds can be deep-rooted, like the belief my Gramps had that hospitals were not good places, or the ‘weed’ of tobacco that undoubtedly caused his cancers. Those weeds can be other people’s untended patches, like the boy who killed Andy who just didn’t think he ought to drive carefully. Still, it doesn’t make for good universal understanding about why my Aunts have to suffer, or my wonderful uncle Liam… I don’t know how to come to terms with that.

I believe that history tells the story, and we will be judged by how we are seen when we have passed on. The weight of our sins against the weight of our good deeds.

And that’s my weighty philosophy of the day!

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