And this is crazy…

I make no apologies for the two tributes I am about to post to get your Monday started with a smile. I’ll explain afterwards.

I think this needs little explanation… it’s the funniest and most anti-Monday thing that you could need to get you through the day. I love the guy with the beard and the t-shirt tan myself. I also find it a little worrying how much some of those guys are enjoying themselves.

The next, released a little earlier, I believe, is the English chaps’ version of it…

Now, men with ginger beards aside, I think there is little doubt that the US version is, well, more muscular (and yet more camp… odd) but the English version had me in stitches. There’s a group of guys having a great time. Not only that, there’s moobs and tummies and inches-to-pinch and weird hair and very, very bad teeth. That’s English men for you. But, that just makes them all the more charming if you ask me.

And yes, a couple of the comments say ‘there’s your tax dollars at work’ or such-like.


I’d like to think that when you’re faced with a 300-year-old problem in a country with 2,000 years of craziness, you deserve a little morale boost. And if it gets on youtube and makes me smile, well, there’s no harm in that. As for the sarcastic comment about tax dollars, François Hollande’s 100,000€ bill for four days in New York is four squaddie’s salaries for a year. So boooooo to that.

I love it when you see the secret lives of ‘professionals’: teachers, judges, police officers, soldiers, nurses… Most are vastly underpaid for the vital work they do, and most are absolute heroes and heroines.

One of my friends in the UK is an emergency call centre worker, dealing with all those 999 emergencies for the police. She gets her fair share of abuse and craziness. So when she posted this:


it really made me smile. The Crown Prosecution Service had repeatedly asked for a statement from PC Peach, only to be repeatedly told that Peach was a dog.

Needless to say, the CPS had a sense-of-humour failure over it. No doubt Peach’s handler got a telling-off, as well as everyone else in between. Bah.

I love PC Peach and I love the Call Me Maybe REs.

When I was in classrooms full-time, we used to have mad moments. In my first school in Sheffield, we would have ‘bad jumper days’ when the whole department would wear the nastiest sweater we could find. Needless to say, the children barely noticed. I’m sad they thought it was part of our general attire. I had a great one with a hand-sewn rose on it that makes my old-lady-nylon-nightie and dressing gown look de rigueur. 

My last school was the most fun. Another teacher and I would have ‘expression of the day’ where we would have to walk into each other’s classrooms and issue a reprimand involving one of many weird phrases that would baffle the kids. One of my favourites was ‘I’ll ride roughshod over you!’ – how I kept my face straight, I don’t even know. Sometimes, we would deliberately swap classes without telling the students, just to see how long it would be before one of them would tell us that we were in the wrong class. Sometimes, we’d go all lesson.

In days of yore, when things were more fun, there were lots of teachers who would send students on errands to ask for a long stand or some other thing that would make another teacher smile. Sure, we weren’t objective-led and results-driven when our classes were interrupted by children asking for something ridiculous. I think teachers smiled more.

My favourite was a colleague, when I worked for the Department for Education, who had been assigned a recycled phone number from a department called Workforce Reform. It used to drive her crazy. When I realised, after six months, how irate she was getting, I would deliberately call her and ask for Workforce Reform, in the most “special” voice I could. Sometimes I’d be crying laughing. Another woman sent me a card saying how lovely it was to hear us all laughing like that, and she hadn’t known why we were all hysterical, but it made her laugh too.

We all need a good laugh.

I would say that’s the thing I miss most about working with other people. I just don’t get to prank people like I did.

Here’s to ‘professionals’ having a laugh, British men and their pasty-white, chubby bodies, American men and their amazing moustaches, squaddies, dogs who complete forms, and all the children who ever had to put up with me saying I’d ride roughshod over them. That has all just reminded me that it is the 1st April, and April Fools’ Day. There couldn’t be a better Monday for a tribute to fun and foolery.

Anyway, enjoy your Easter Monday if you have a day off. I don’t. But then it’s not such a big deal!

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