I saw a hideous thing last night. It was about 50, wearing a skin tight dress. It had a wrinkly, scrawny neck, dyed hair and was pushing a trolley in Sainsbury’s. It was like the female equivalent of Peter Stringfellow.
It wasn’t so much the desperate staving off of age, the desperate reek of neediness and desire for attention, especially from her husband (who was ignoring her, chatting to his two friends, including a woman in suitable shoes) that made me retch, but the fact she was wearing stripper shoes.
Lap-dancer shoes. Stripper shoes. Call them what you will. What they AREN’T is ‘shopping in supermarkets’ shoes. Who would do that? You’re asking for injury. This at a time when a friend fell down two stairs and broke her tibia and fibula. Another friend broke his foot falling down stairs. So why would you go into a supermarket with their polished floors??! You just wouldn’t. These shoes are for 18 year old girls whose feet don’t ache yet, who haven’t got corns and who are so drunk they feel no pain. That’s fair enough. I wore ridiculous shoes in my time. But not to the supermarket.
Not to the supermarket, you hear??!
I have to say, before I finish my rant, that I am as much in despair of the women in knock-off Juicy tracksuits as this, but that the stripper shoes took the biscuit. I can understand popping in to buy alcohol when you’re all dressed up, but not to wander around the vegetable aisle. Non. Non. Non!!!!
As if that wasn’t bad enough, last Monday, I saw a man with a full face of tattoos wearing fishnet stockings. Sainsbury’s is turning into a fetishist’s paradise.